Hospital and perspective

So last week I was admitted to hospital for an operation, unfortunately this operation didn’t work and I’m going to have to have another one at a different hospital. Being in hospital compounds your emotions, tires you out and can leave you feeling very isolated – especially as I am about an hour and a half away from my family and friends at the moment. Being in hospital never fails to place things in to perspective for me. I am on a ward where there are a few people with terminal illnesses and a lady died yesterday. I didn’t know the woman, I’d never met her, but this has been my first experience of being in the same room as death. It’s made me feel extremely down, but I am reassured by the fact that she was nursed through the night by incredible NHS staff, who looked after her in a sensitive and loving way.

I, selfishly, cried. I don’t feel that it was my place to cry, but the wonderful staff on this ward let me cry. They talked to me on such a human level and did their best to make me feel better. A big issue for me while I’ve been in is my personal inability to wash my hair. I had surgery on my abdomen and so have been in bed for a few days. Yesterday, after the death of this lady they washed my hair, dried it, French plaited it and talked to me about all the things that I love and enjoy. These members of staff have been looking after me physically and emotionally in such an incredible way. These members of staff come in to work to meet care needs, but daily go over and above. The NHS in an exceptional service that we need to protect, respect and maintain.

I haven’t been doing much while I’ve been in, I’ve mainly been watching DVDs and reading little and often. It’s such an emotion heightened environment that I have been writing poetry – stuff I’m not sure I will ever share with anyone else. My family have been incredible, making the journey here every single day and keeping my chin up. Give the people you love an extra long hug tonight – and enjoy the little things, the five minute study breaks, some choccy in front of the telly. If anything, being in here has given me perspective – because the saying “someone always has it worse than you do” is true, but it should probably be more like “there are millions of people who have it worse than you do”.

8 thoughts on “Hospital and perspective

  1. Thank you for your courageous candour. I have recently been in hospital myself and I know exactly what you mean about NHS staff, but I can not compare with your situation -‘I had an immediately fixable condition. I’m sorry for your suffering and hope you continue to get all the love and support you need. Please keep writing. Love always.


  2. Hope you feel well soon again,I met you last June at Kim’s Festival,and found you such anInspiration for you young age,I will always remember you and your great Poetry, Remember us three came from Ireland,Friends of the lovely Kim,, Feel better,Much love and Hugs, xxx


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